Listen, we get it. It’s cold, it’s dark, and everyone’s on strike. The pandemic rages on and your Spotify Wrapped was a bigger embarrassment than the Trafalgar Square Christmas Tree.
You’re probably feeling more ‘resting grinch face’ than rockin’ robin, but fear not – we’ve got just the thing to cheer you up.
Here’s our guide to the 12 Sandwiches of Christmas, ranked from worst to best by the Raven News team.
12: CO-OP’s ‘Pigs Under Blankets’
Rating: 1/5
A lacklustre offering by Co-op. All our favourite Christmas ingredients were present – cranberry chutney, pork, sage and onion stuffing, but this curt eight word review from Bex reveals this sarnie was wetter than a duck’s undercarriage.
“Really soggy bread, pretty grim, did not finish” – Bex Sander
11: Subway’s ‘Pig in Blanket’
Rating 2/5
Another mushy affair, from the highstreet sandwich specialists no less! No one wants a soggy six inch in their mouth at Christmas, Subway. Sort it out.
“Disappointingly bland. The bacon was sadly soggy and the sausage was merely microwaved, so it’s all just a bit of a mushy mess in my mouth. I added Brie for an extra £1, but it did precious little to satiate my Crimbo cravings.” – Ricki Lee
10: Tesco’s ‘Brie and Cranberry’
Rating: 2.5/5
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a boring Tesco sandwich with Brie.
“Middle of the road, got the job done.” – Bex Sanders
9: Costa’s ‘Vegan Turkee, Cranberry and Stuffing Toastie’
Rating: 3/5
This sandwich was enjoyed by our reviewer Ruth, but others weren’t so pleased. It became a trending topic on Twitter after some meat-eaters were outraged that they’d missed the small ‘vegan’ label on the wrapper.
Inadvertently eating a plant-based lunch? You may as well burn my Christmas tree down. Christmas is cancelled! #SandwhichSubterfuge
“Fake Turkey was delicious and tasted like real meat but it could use more cranberry sauce.” – Ruth Berry
8: Poundland’s ‘Turkey Feast’
Rating: 3.2/5
You know the year has taken its toll on the Raven team when you see these reactions to Joe’s tentative purchase of a Poundland Christmas sandwich in the group chat.
“It tastes like Christmas 1941. Surprisingly solid effort from Poundland. Generous filling with what tasted like real turkey, cranberry sauce tasted like starburst and the sausage while present was mainly decorative in this instance. All told I think a 3.2 is fair. Some seasoning could have brought it up to a 3.5.” – Joe Skirkowski
7: Sainsbury’s ‘Brie and Cranberry’
Rating: 3.5/5 
Drape me in tinsel and call me Elton John, this little rocket-man of a sandwich earnt itself a respectable score. Sainsbury’s say “helping everyone eat better” is all about healthy living, which could explain this review:
“The rocket is a nice touch. Could have done with more salt.” – Joe Ballesteros
6: Starbucks’ ‘Tis the Season Turkey’
Rating: 3.6/5
Last year Starbucks put ‘pulled turkey’ in their ‘Tis The Season’ sandwich, but pulled turkey in this economy? Times are tough, luckily the turkey breast in this sandwich wasn’t.
“Smoked bacon and turkey were flavoursome. The malted bread tasted fresh but more cranberry chutney was needed to get me fully in the festive spirit, and it doesn’t beat the pulled turkey from last year.” – Kat Dalziel
5: Lidl
Rating: 4/5
Never eaten a Lidl Christmas sandwich? Your privilege is showing. This budget-friendly buttie ticked almost all the boxes.
“Deliciously nutty, this Christmas sandwich oozes with flavors. The cheddar and soft cheese combo, with apple and pear chutney, gives it a nice mix of salt and tang. It starts off tasting a bit dry, and it could do with slightly less lettuce, but was overall a bargain.” – Riddhi Kachhela
4: Asda
Rating: 4.2/5
Solid effort from Asda, but it’s a bold marketing choice serving us slightly stale bread and calling it a Boxing Day sandwich. It is supposed to taste like leftovers, so I suppose we can’t get mad.
“The ingredients are fresh. Turkey breast combined with spiced chutney tastes great but the crusts of the sandwich were a little hard.” – Wang Liuyi
3: Marks & Spencers’ ‘Turkey Feast’
Rating: 4.3/5
It was the first time Yuta had tried a festive sandwich, so faithful M&S was a strong choice (much like my Mariah karaoke-solo at the work Christmas party). The verdict? It sleigh-ed. (Unlike my Mariah karaoke-solo at the work Christmas party.)
“The turkey, pork and smoked bacon were all quite tasty. Stir-fried onions and the onion mayonnaise added a nice touch.” – Yuta Sato
2: Pret A Manger’s ‘Turkey and Trimmings Toastie’
Rating: 4.4/5
This sandwich had more cheese than an airport scene in Love Actually.
“It’s warm, it’s cheesy, it has caramelised onion chutney. What’s not to love?” – Kat Dalziel
1: Greggs’ ‘Vegan Festive Bake’
Rating: 4.5/5
So this is Christmas, and what have we done? We’ve awarded a festive bake Christmas Sandwich No 1.
Before you write a scathing ‘Letter to the Editor’ about a festive bake not technically being a sandwich, let’s read the review:
“Deliciously planty take on a classic Christmas staple. Nice crumbly pastry in true Gregg’s fashion, and lots of filling! And for only £2.75 with a hot drink, it’s a great way to start your morning.” – Ricki Lee
Can’t argue with that! So turn off Joni Mitchell and wipe away your tears of betrayal, we may have bent the rules with this one, but it’s time to embrace the fact that no shop-bought Christmas sandwich can come close to our lord and saviour G.R. Eggs.